Settling

Well, I know it has been a little while again since I've posted. I've been settling in at a new job and a new home, though both are in familiar places. I find it strangely familiar, like picking up a tool that you once knew so well and commanded expertly. Somewhere inside you still know it, it just takes a little time to pick it back up. I also compare it, geekily enough, to a spaceship in a collaborative fiction game once played, known as SoS (Swords of Silver), and the ship "Orochi." The characters galavanted across the solar system in it, a veritable bucket of bolts, and at one point, after having been away from it for so long, came back to it. Despite space, time, and life, it is good to be back to something so familiar that knows you so well.

So, musing and thoughts? Well, I find it great that here, of all places, I feel the most impetus to be exactly who and what I am naturally. No putting on identities, no trying hard to fit in. Why? I'm not entirely sure, but I never really fit in totally here, and that is the beauty of it all. Again, also, that's suburbia: nobody HAS to be anything, so you CAN be anything your heart desires. I've always felt naturalistic inclinations in my spirituality, but seldom have I allowed myself to pursue them. Here, especially with Alex feelings similarly, I feel quite at ease about it all.

Also, it can be strange and emotional, seeing places with so much memory tied to them. In the hallways at work (I work at the High School I went to), I half expect to see my old friends again, just as they were then, walk past my door. The power that memories have to live is uncanny. Then there are those friends who keep crossing back into your life no matter what seems to happen. I made contact again with one of those tonight via AIM. A person that I once was very close with (and admissibly smitten with at one time.), but have been estranged for a few years due to some miscommunication that ended in hard feelings. Now, we have plans to meet and rekindle.

Still, I am different than I was when I lived here before. Older, more well-rounded, I feel I can truly appreciate the good things and recognize the bad as I could not before. My job is just a job. I run the records and registration at a High School, but to run your hands down a drawer of files and cross a dozen people that were such a part of who you were and whose memory and energy yet flows through those places can leave you very emotional. I wonder where they are, what they are doing. I hope they are well and still the great people that I loved being around in those days.

This has to be the best home that we have had together, Alex and I. We feel happy and complete here, and nothing can possibly change that, I feel. We are decorating our home truly according to our own styles, and really getting into that. Workspaces for hobbies are being setup, decorations created and purchased. This will be our home, our haven, and all may feel safe here.

I do not know what it is, but a calm has swept over us (with a few exceptions, of course, that life has) that I have not known in many years. In some ways, I feel the draw of the earth, the pull of the trees, and the sway of the streams and creeks. I am tied to the land inextricably, and it to me, I think. Here I am closer to it, and so from it my spirit is rekindled once more. I feel that I have been living in a desert, and now am passing into a far, green country. I want nothing more than a life of harmony with the land.

In the news of hobbies here, I am excited to be soonly setting up my smithy here, and I have a great space for it. While metalwork is new to me, I have the utmost confidence that I shall surely excel in all I do. Thinking about hobbies, Alex and I, as always, are already excited about the coming RenFaire in the Fall. As ever, we will have a significant campsite, and hope to add to our cadre. If you are interested, we go usually in late October. Bring a tent, provisions, etc, and you can be sure to have a good time! That time of year also brings me deer season, a time of great sport for me and time on the land. It also brings cold evenings, warm mead, a roaring fire (we do have a fireplace now, but I still retain my firepit as ever!) and good company.

I hope to see you all there. I am home.

PS: My phone has changed. I'm now at 254-458-3584.